No name #3

About vietnam...still 3rd draft

Vietnam, have I betrayed you
when I sip on overpriced coffee
order KFC instead of pho?

do I go astray
when I bomb myself with B52s glasses
in Hanoi tourist alleys?

do I puncture your eardrums
with cacophonous karaoke solos
napalm verdant riceland
with my vodka-revolving vision?

do I reduce you
to the size of my luggage of nothing
but clothes clothes clothes
when I should pack 4000 years of hystory

do I plague your arteries
with my motorcycle carbon pollution
your wheezing breath buried
under rumbles of thousand commuters
your last sign of life:
dust
the disintegration of marrows
sandpapering my face in this angry heat

do I expect too little?
do I expect too much?

condemnations
for my english-tabooed tongue

dystopic visions
like
environmental pollution
communist corruption
red flag on every corner
big brother

i expect silhouettes of real culture
or at least some closure

not Jayz blasting on MTV
not Kpop rocking in sweatshops

not midnight motorcycle cruising youngsters
banging pots and pans in Saigon streets
hands waving seas of red flag on every street corner
after soccer victories

not skyscrapers
not breakdancers head spinning
under the statue of Lenin
not resort fences censoring view of the ocean
not another damn Vegas over fisherman’s ancestral land

Vietnam, must I still stand on post-apocalyptic battleground
the middle of two homelands
fighting another war
fighting myself
my barrel out of ammo
no more bullets of blame
I surrender
I surrender
I surrender
but I can never go home